**The Onion Acquires Alex Jones Company**

You need 2 min read Post on Nov 15, 2024
**The Onion Acquires Alex Jones Company**
**The Onion Acquires Alex Jones Company**

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The Onion Acquires Alex Jones Company in a Move That's Both Hilarious and Terrifying

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the internet, The Onion, the satirical news outlet known for its absurdist humor, has announced the acquisition of InfoWars, the conspiracy theory website run by Alex Jones. The deal, reportedly finalized after a "lengthy negotiation process" involving several bags of Funyuns and a signed picture of a lizard person, marks a bizarre turn of events for both parties.

The Onion's editor-in-chief, who wished to remain anonymous due to "the ongoing threat of being doxxed by Alex Jones's lawyers," described the acquisition as a "perfect fit" for the brand's "commitment to journalistic integrity and quality news."

"We've always strived to push the boundaries of satire and expose the absurdity of our times," the editor said, adding, "We're excited to welcome Alex Jones and his team to the Onion family, where they can continue to do what they do best: make people laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the world."

InfoWars, for its part, issued a statement claiming that the acquisition "is a monumental victory for the truth and a testament to our unwavering fight against the deep state."

However, the statement also contained a curious addendum: "While The Onion may be known for its satirical humor, we at InfoWars are committed to exposing the truth, no matter how inconvenient it may be. We believe that the two organizations share a common goal: to inform the public about the dangers of the New World Order and the threat posed by lizard people."

The deal is sure to raise eyebrows among those familiar with the respective histories of the two companies. The Onion, known for its sharp wit and satirical commentary on current events, has long been a voice of reason in the face of absurdity. InfoWars, on the other hand, has made a name for itself by peddling conspiracy theories and spreading misinformation about everything from 9/11 to the Sandy Hook massacre.

This acquisition begs the question: will InfoWars continue to operate as an independent entity under the Onion umbrella, or will it be integrated into the Onion's satirical framework? The answer remains unclear, but one thing is for sure: the internet is in for a wild ride.

The potential ramifications of this deal are vast and unpredictable. Will Alex Jones be the next correspondent on "The Onion News Network"? Will we see articles about "chemtrails" and "fake moon landings" alongside stories about "the latest fashion trends" and "the dangers of too much avocado toast"? Only time will tell.

One thing is certain: this deal is a testament to the power of satire and the ever-evolving landscape of online media. It is a reminder that in the age of the internet, anything is possible, even a world where Alex Jones and The Onion are suddenly best friends.

**The Onion Acquires Alex Jones Company**
**The Onion Acquires Alex Jones Company**

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